Law Society Sevens

Now, I am not a fan of rugby as many of you know, but MeWife needed a rest this weekend and the LawSoc Sevens promised much, with a bouncy castle and face painting, plus lots of nosh and soft drinks. What could go wrong with a father taking his two tots to such an event? Even the sun was shining for once.

Well, as it turns out, quite a lot. Firstly, the demographic breakdown of those attending seemed to include a very large number of ladies in what might be termed 'provocative' outfits. Now that fact on its own might not have been too much of a give away as to their intentions on a warm day were it not for the six pounds of make-up that most had got stuck to their faces. Am I being cynical to think that a number of them may have been on the pull? Not exactly much of a family day out when your eldest has to queue for the loo surrounded by several sauced up rejects from Cinderella Rockerfellers yakking about how lush Troy Spong was. And the bouncy castle deflated mid-bounce. A metaphor for the day if ever there was one.

Anyway, my day continued to go from strength to strength when the sat-nav went on strike for 2 hours on the way home. Was giving some people a lift home, got in, and the dvd carrying the map data had managed to pop itself out of the cradle just enough not to work but not enough to eject itself properly. Bumpy car parks and sat nav dvds clearly don't get on. However, I now know how Han Solo felt in The Empire Strikes Back:

"Oh yeah, watch THIS.." (switches on sat nav/ attempts to jump to hyperspace [delete as applicable])

(clunk, clunk clunk)

"Watch WHAT?"

Could I find the key code to eject it? Could I buffalo. Did it HAVE an eject button for the dvd? Did it buffalo. Every other instruction book was in the glove box of course, but, security-conscious as ever, I had left the instructions for the sat nav at home. So, the solution? jamming another disc into the slot to push the dvd back into place. Note to car manufacurers: why do you give us so many bits of paper to lose in the name of 'security'?

And then came the sound every parent dreads in a traffic jam:

"I need a wee...."




I am sticking to the park next time.